Growing up, I was taught time and time again, you need to give up your power to God (it doesn’t matter which version of God). You need to admit and accept that you are weak. That you are less than, inferior to God and by default anyone in authority over you. Like it or not however, I carried this mindset forward into my dealings with Herne, Modron, and the Other Gods. Oh, I have been pretty good about claiming my own power when things are going well, but when things weren’t going well… When things weren’t going well I either wanted to hide away from problems, in the hope they would go away (Hint: They didn’t), or I wanted Someone Else to take care of it for me.
In 2012/2013, I reached a low point in my life where I needed the Gods to lean against, to lend me their strength, so that I could put one foot in front of the other each day and do what needed to be done. And They were there for me. This was the time when Brigid became more prominent in my life and I began doing a daily meditation for Her. Brigid is known for many things, but for me Her main role with me has been that of a protector, a guardian, a pillar of strength Who I could call upon for justice. Over time though, I felt Brigid standing slightly away from me. She was still there, but I could no longer lean against Her. Why? I asked Her. And She told me why. Because I needed to know that I had the strength and the courage and the power within me to stand on my own. I needed to know that I am just as potent, just as courageous as any God. Everything that I had been through over the previous few years especially but also over my entire life had been there to help strengthen me. I was given a chant that I repeated to myself over and over again like a mantra:
Forged in fire, quenched in tears, I am formed of hardened steel.
Why steel? Because steel is iron with imperfections added. It is the addition of those other elements which give the iron its strength. Without careful moderation of those elements and a process of tempering, you can end up with a metal alloy that is brittle. The difficulties that I had fought my way through over 2012/2013 were my tempering process. I could have broken during that time, but I didn’t. I survived and I came through the other wide stronger, and more powerful. I’m still struggling with this whole idea of claiming my own power. I have the illusions a lot of emotional and mental baggage to clear away. But with Brigid and Herne standing beside me, and my Spirit Guides to point me in the right direction, I’m getting a whole lot better at it.